My daughter wants a toy dog. A purse dog. One of those tiny little fashion accessories of overindulged women. And I'm trying to help her get it. I understand, she wants a baby, something she can pour her love into. She's too old for dolls and too young for a child of her own. I want my kid to be happy so I'm trying to help her.
So that's where we are at. We've done months of research, found the perfect breed. An affenpinscher, god I hope they are as perfect as they sound, happy and busy and not totally neurotic yappy shits. The problem, there are not a lot of them out there.
Yep, we've picked a rare breed of oversized rat. It sounds like the best fit for our family but there aren't a lot of them out there to get.
Which leads to the writing the breeders to see if they have puppies.
Which leads to the questions.
Am I a good person?
Well yeah I try.
Good enough for their little puppy princess? I've got breeders who are telling me they won't sell a dog till it's 6 months old!!! I've got other breeders who as soon as I tell them I have 3 dogs and 3 cats tell me that my house is too busy so they won't sell to me.
I am not looking to steal their fucking dog. For a mere $2000 they might sell me a 6 month old dog if I am good enough.
I'm not sure I'm ever going to be good enough.
I have three mutts I love. I would love to find a fourth mutt, something with a chichuahua dad but it's mom's personality, something small enough for my daughter to carry around, something where I didn't have to be quizzed about how good of a dog owner I'm going to be, some dog that was just lucky to find a home like mine.
FUCK IT, I don't want to be made to feel like a criminal because I want to BUY a puppy off you.
Get a fucking grip. I get it, you want your dogs to have good homes (if you are a decent human being at all) but treating your prospective buyers like they are ax murderers just because they want one of your dogs is INSANE.
I am not trying to buy a dog in a pet shop. I have done months of research, I've got other pets I keep alive quite sucessfully, I don't want to get a dog because it's cute, I want to pay good money to a reputable breeder because they breed healthy dogs that aren't inbred and ill. I'm not even looking to buy it just before Christmas and return it in Feb when it chews up the furniture.
I realize there are bad dog owners out there, but I would be grilled less if I wanted to adopt a child.
Seriously this world is a weird whacked out place and I'm not sure that pure bred purse dog people are ever going to like me well enough to give me one of their precious babies.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Quitting Drinking
I think I'm going to stop drinking.
Now if many people said this it would be news, it would be a good thing, it would be a difficult decision based on careful consideration of the health risks of drinking and the problems associated to alcoholism. For me it's not so interesting.
In fact I say I think I'm going to stop drinking when I haven't had a drink in 6 months, maybe more.
I don't drink often, it's just not who I am or something I enjoy. When I order a mojito at work to "drink" with my clients my employees know to bring me a mint lemonade totally devoid of even a hint of rum. Drinking is for people who want to lose control, who want to be wild, who want to forget or become someone else.
I hate losing control. I don't get wild (liquor me up all you want and I still don't dance on tables --believe me people have tried. I'm just not that fun, there is no wild party girl inside my stolid exterior just waiting for a couple shots of tequila to come out.) In fact I don't forget anything I do when I'm drunk, I find my clumsiness while inebriated embarrassing (go back to that I don't like to lose control thing) and I find it embarrassing to remember how inebriated I was and how clumsy.
When I get drunk there is no wild dancing on the tables, instead I lose my motor skills, my gross ones first and things like walking become more challenging (dancing however is easier because I lose the ability to keep myself still and wobbling is more natural). Then of course I slur my words and finally I fall over, a lot. There is the possibility that later puking or diarrhea may follow. None of this adds up to enjoying alcohol.
If I stop drinking all this means is that I'm done. Done with trying to fit in with a culture of social events held over a bottle of migraine inducing wine, done with trying to use tequila to tolerate bad music long enough that I can say I went out. Done with going out. Done with trying to be like everyone else.
I don't know that I should quit this easily.
This is why I think I might quit drinking. Maybe, or maybe I should be like the alcoholic who says they will quit tomorrow not really make the decision. Maybe I should just maybe quit tomorrow, just keep going as I am without really committing. And maybe one day I'll say wow it's been 2 years since I had a drink, or maybe this holiday season I'll down a couple of drinks and try to fit in one more time.
Now if many people said this it would be news, it would be a good thing, it would be a difficult decision based on careful consideration of the health risks of drinking and the problems associated to alcoholism. For me it's not so interesting.
In fact I say I think I'm going to stop drinking when I haven't had a drink in 6 months, maybe more.
I don't drink often, it's just not who I am or something I enjoy. When I order a mojito at work to "drink" with my clients my employees know to bring me a mint lemonade totally devoid of even a hint of rum. Drinking is for people who want to lose control, who want to be wild, who want to forget or become someone else.
I hate losing control. I don't get wild (liquor me up all you want and I still don't dance on tables --believe me people have tried. I'm just not that fun, there is no wild party girl inside my stolid exterior just waiting for a couple shots of tequila to come out.) In fact I don't forget anything I do when I'm drunk, I find my clumsiness while inebriated embarrassing (go back to that I don't like to lose control thing) and I find it embarrassing to remember how inebriated I was and how clumsy.
When I get drunk there is no wild dancing on the tables, instead I lose my motor skills, my gross ones first and things like walking become more challenging (dancing however is easier because I lose the ability to keep myself still and wobbling is more natural). Then of course I slur my words and finally I fall over, a lot. There is the possibility that later puking or diarrhea may follow. None of this adds up to enjoying alcohol.
If I stop drinking all this means is that I'm done. Done with trying to fit in with a culture of social events held over a bottle of migraine inducing wine, done with trying to use tequila to tolerate bad music long enough that I can say I went out. Done with going out. Done with trying to be like everyone else.
I don't know that I should quit this easily.
This is why I think I might quit drinking. Maybe, or maybe I should be like the alcoholic who says they will quit tomorrow not really make the decision. Maybe I should just maybe quit tomorrow, just keep going as I am without really committing. And maybe one day I'll say wow it's been 2 years since I had a drink, or maybe this holiday season I'll down a couple of drinks and try to fit in one more time.
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